Friday, August 12, 2016

How to Cultivate Independence {as a daughter living at home}

I found this old post in my drafts and decided to post it, with some editing.

It's an unfortunate stereotype that grown adults who live with their parents must be "Kid-ults" - the kind of person who can't or won't earn their own money, support themselves and get out on their own. For many of us adult daughters who live at home, though, we are responsible, productive adults, who probably could manage on our own if we wanted/had to... but why? I enjoy my family, and the room that I share with my sister has plenty of space for me. However, it is true that it's easy to remain dependent living at home. Here are some things that I do to cultivate independence, and prepare myself for the day when I might run my own household. 

- Be responsible for getting up on time in the morning. This is one of the most important things for a responsible young person to start doing for themselves in my opinion. I began in high school, when I took a Chemistry class for homeschoolers. I overslept my alarm once, and was nearly late to class after leaping out of bed in a panic, throwing on clothes, grabbing my books and running out the door. I didn't get breakfast, but I survived, and I learned to be responsible and not expect my mom to make sure I was up and ready when I needed to be. 

- Voluntarily do chores and help around the house, without being asked. No one should have to tell a grown adult to clean their room, do their laundry and clean up after themselves. If I lived on my own and left a mess in the kitchen, there would be no one but me to clean it up, so as an adult who is capable of cleaning up after myself, there is no excuse to leaving extra work for my mom to do. She is not my maid! I admit, I still struggle with laundry... I start a load, and then forget about it sometimes, and Mom has to ask me to move it from the washer to the dryer, or to take the clean clothes out of the dryer. 

- Find a way to earn some money. This doesn't necessarily have to be outside your home, I teach piano lessons in my house. I also babysit/nanny our neighbors' kids, right across the street. I'm considering the possibility of sewing some things to sell on Etsy.com. There are lots of options! 

- Pay personal expenses as much as possible. In high school, I started paying for my theatre and dance classes, because I was skipping them too often and my mom was getting annoyed at how much of the fees I was wasting by choosing other activities over class. (That had the added benefit of making me appreciate how much money my classes were costing, and I attended classes more regularly when the money was coming out of my earnings.) After graduation, the number of students I could take increased, and I now own my own car, for which I buy gas, and pay all the maintenance and repair costs. I buy my own clothes and other purchases. I do NOT buy my own groceries, though, and my parents don't charge me rent. How that works in other families will differ, but the important point is to take responsibility for some of your own costs.

- Learn how to go grocery shopping. I mentioned in the last point that I don't pay for my own groceries, but I regularly do a lot of the grocery shopping for my family, and it's been a great experience in learning how to grocery shop efficiently. Everyone should know how to purchase groceries. 

- Help out with cooking. I enjoy cooking, and have made entire meals for my family on my own, although usually my mom, sister and I all pitch in with dinner. We tend to get into ruts, though, where Sarah always makes particular things, and I always make particular things, and Mom always makes particular things, so if any of us tried to switch around, it wouldn't be nearly as good (Sarah's guacamole, homemade salsa, barbeque sauce and spicy broccoli are really just inimitable...) so I'm working on mixing it up sometimes, so I won't have holes in my cooking abilities.

What would you add to this list? I recently began using a free budget manager, which has been a very interesting and helpful experience!

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Hello August! (Where has this year gone?!?)

Wow, I can't believe it's August already! It's been a very hot summer, I hope it will cool down some this month, now that we're approaching fall!

So, a quick little update on what I've been up to... if you saw my ONE other post this year (haha, my poor little blog is so neglected!) you know that my work goals were:
- Have my annual Spring recital for my studio - CHECK!
- Create a more professional studio policy for managing payments, cancellations, etc. - CHECK!
- Perform my solo recital as soon as possible (hopefully by summer at the latest) - CHECK!!!!!
- Finish the tuning course by the end of the year
- Get my second piano in shape so my older intermediate students can begin concerti

We had a nice, quite successful and very well-attended Spring recital at the end of April. I'm very excited about the improvements I've made to my studio policy and how it's helped teaching to flow more smoothly. I added a policy about late-notice cancellations (I was getting quite a few of those, and it can really mess up a schedule!), began using a online scheduling calendar that I absolutely love (https://acuityscheduling.com) and finally got up the nerve to raise my rates, after 10 years of teaching for the exact same fee! 

I also performed my solo recital at the end of June! 


Thanks to my dear friend Katherine for this "action" shot, which was staged after the recital. ;)

My boyfriend Matt and me after my solo recital was (FINALLY!) done!

Not to blame him or anything, but this amazing guy is part of the reason I sort of abandoned my blog. We've been dating almost 9 months! He has been such an encouragement to me, always willing to listen and advise when I was trying to decide how to approach my adjustments to my studio policy and so supportive during both my students' recital and my solo recital. 

We met at a contra dance in September 2015, and he asked me out in November. It's been so much fun getting to know him this year. He's a strong, godly man and has been encouraging me in my walk with God. He eats healthy food and we did Whole30 together in January, plus several "Whole7's" since then as a short little reboot. He likes Pride and Prejudice 1995 and watched it with me when we'd only been dating 2 months! (He also appropriately disdains the P&P05 atrocity. *wink*) He enjoys classical music, and likes to read... the number of things we have in common is so neat!

It's been an incredible blessing having him be such an important part of my life this year. We've spent a lot of time together doing all sorts of fun things, way too many to list. Building Legos, reading together and sharing our favorite TV shows are just a few. Whether having fun, just relaxing, or working on a project, he is always fun to be around. I'm so thankful God brought us together!

I'm going to work on writing blog posts more frequently, at Matt's encouragement. I'm planning on continuing to write them quickly, and not do much editing though, as I used to spend SO much time tweaking little things that probably no one but me would even notice! I'm trying to relax on my perfectionist tendencies. 

And with that, I'm going to close this post with just a few pictures of my post recent chalk paint projects. This is Primer Red, with dark wax on some pieces of furniture in our den/TV room. 




Happy August everyone! 

Friday, January 1, 2016

New Year 2016

Happy New Year everyone!

It's been almost 3 months since I last posted. I know I've been very neglectful of my poor little blog lately, and I haven't been keeping up with all my lovely blog friends very well either! Lots of other exciting, busy and fun things have been keeping me occupied.

My piano teaching studio has reached its maximum capacity of 30 students! I'm thrilled to have so many great students, and I really enjoy their lessons, but that keeps me very busy.

I'm also still working on my first (and probably ONLY, considering how long it's taking me!) solo recital. As an achievement that I would have been required to complete in college, I thought it would be a good challenge, but it's taken much longer than I hoped, and I'm really ready to finish it and move on!

Tuning has not been going well lately, I'm feeling very stuck. And with my students, and my recital program, it's definitely been getting left out of my work schedule. 

My work goals for this year are:
- Have my annual Spring recital for my studio
- Create a more professional studio policy for managing payments, cancellations, etc.
- Perform my solo recital as soon as possible (hopefully by summer at the latest) 
- Finish the tuning course by the end of the year
- Get my second piano in shape so my older intermediate students can begin concerti


Whole30 was the topic of my last post, so I'm sure you're not surprised to hear that I'm still very happy with my results on Whole30! I'm starting my second round with the new year this January! I can't remember ever feeling as great as I did on Whole30, and after some holiday cheating and a little bit of feeling gross, I'm excited to get back into Whole30, and hopefully, a better sleep cycle! Even before the holidays took me into late nights, I was struggling to sleep through the night, waking up in the wee hours and tossing around for sometimes 2-3 hours quite regularly. My psoriasis is continuing to improve, but more slowly since I haven't been on Whole30. 

My health goals for this year are:
- Completely clear up my psoriasis
- Focus on understanding my body and learning what foods I do well with, and which ones to avoid
- Get my sleep and hormones back in shape
- Find a regular exercise routine that works for me

In keeping with my goals, I'm now going to go to bed... and I'm going to try not to edit and rewrite my blog posts so much, so instead of letting this sit in my drafts for a few days, I'm just going to publish it! Hopefully a part two will come later, as I do have some more goals and such on my mind. Happy 2016 to all!
 
 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Whole30! Part 2

So I'm counting today as day 29 of my Whole30, but actually, on the third day, I ate fish and green beans that my sister cooked with butter, and it didn't even occur to me until after I'd eaten that my sister would of course use butter, and that she didn't know I wasn't supposed to have butter! Instead of starting over, I decided just to add 3 days, which means I'm really on day 26, and won't be finished until Saturday.


As I near the end of my first Whole30, I'm definitely getting interested to step on the scale, and see how my measurements have changed. My dad keeps commenting on how much thinner I look, trying to guess how much weight I've lost, and asking if I've weighed yet... but I'm excited about all my "non-scale victories" too (which is what Whole30 recommends focusing on) so I wanted to share a few of those with you.

I mentioned in my previous post that I was eager to try meal planning, and I'm delighted to announce that it's gone wonderfully! It's only been 4 weeks, but I can't believe I used to live without meal planning. How did I manage grocery shopping without even the faintest idea what we'd be eating for the rest of the week? And then, sometime during each day, the horrifying question "what should we have for dinner?" would pop up, and the daily process of scrounging around to see what we have, and trying to figure out what we could make would begin, often ending with disappointing and repetitious dinners. No more! Now I go to the store with 5-7 dinners planned, and pick up exactly what we need. If I see kale on sale, maybe I'll substitute it for the brussels sprouts I planned, or if, horror of horrors, there are no sweet potatoes, I'll grab an extra butternut squash, or sub in carrots instead. Meal planning is a MUST for me now, it has made "fixing dinner" take much less time, and go much more smoothly. 

My confidence in my cooking abilities has also increased exponentially. Before Whole30, I could cook some dinner foods well, but my specialties have always been baked goods: breads, muffins, homemade pasta, biscuits, homemade pizza dough, cheesecakes, brownies, cookies... Actual meals have always been my weakest point, and whenever I thought about the possibility of someday being in charge of my own kitchen, I felt slightly terrified at the idea of cooking dinners that weren't based on some kind of bread. Now I can cook a variety of dishes, and have confidence in my grasp of the basics regarding cooking meat. These Whole30 recipes will certainly stay in my meal rotation even after I'm done! 

I've discovered that I really enjoy wilted greens of any kind as a breakfast side. With a leftover salmon cake, or a boiled egg, or even scrambled eggs! 

We have a pull-up bar, and I went from being able to do 0 to 3 so far! Not 3 straight in a row, but one, rest a little, another one, rest a little.... I'm working toward 2 in a row now. 

My energy levels have been fantastic! Also, my mood has been really good. And I've definitely lost weight, though I don't know how much yet. Honestly, I'm really surprised, because Whole30 food restrictions didn't seem that different from my version of GAPS, so I wasn't really expecting to notice such obvious results. Maybe it was cutting out peanut butter (my last remaining food addiction) or maybe it's eating three complete, satisfying meals with no snacking in between. Perhaps it's just the greater quantity of vegetables I've been consuming. Or maybe it's just happiness from the obsessive organizer in me that is absolutely thrilled about meal planning and how helpful it is! I don't know, but I feel incredible, and I'm loving Whole30 so much more than I expected to!

Even though I do intend to follow the reintroduction plan to see what foods I might not be sensitive to, I think I will probably eat mostly Whole30 long term. My psoriasis is looking better, but still not completely gone, and I think it'll take longer than just to the end of this week to finish. We'll see though, maybe it'll be gone by Saturday!

 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Whole30!


I think I've mentioned the other diets we've done before, my previous favorites being The Maker's Diet and the GAPS Diet. Well, after seeing a lot of yummy pictures on my instagram feed tagged #whole30 and hearing success stories from friends, I decided to give it a try! I'm on day 8, and so far I'm loving it. I'll get back to you day 30 and beyond with my final opinion.

http://whole30.com/whole30book/
 
The Whole30 book has a ton of amazing recipes, so far I've particularly enjoyed the chicken salad with homemade mayo in endive leaves, the no-fuss salmon cakes, and a roast leg of lamb that was wonderfully delicious, and so much easier than I thought! Their recipes do a great job of making cooking seem easy, and they even include a section on how to cook "perfect" basics, like how to cook steak, or ground meat, or fish! We followed their instructions for white-fleshed fish (something we already fixed on a regular basis) and discovered that we had been overcooking it all this time! It was so tender and moist!


So far as food restrictions go, Whole30 hasn't been much different from what I had been eating on GAPS, I had already cut out the GAPS-approved kefir and yogurt, and was feeling like I needed to cut out cheese and peanut butter as well. The hardest thing is butter, because I was really enjoying "Bulletproof" tea (I don't drink coffee) in the morning. (What's "Bulletproof"? My version is blending butter and coconut oil into tea with a high-powered blender. It creates a creamy tea with a frothy foam on top, and it's really delicious and filling with all that good fat!) Since I had to give that up for Whole 30, I've actually weaned myself off of morning caffeine. Honey is the only sweetener we'd been having on GAPS, and I had already cut that out as well, so I can't say the restrictions have been hard at all, personally. And Whole30 allows potatoes, which were not allowed on GAPS! Sweet potato baked "fry" frenzy has definitely ensued!

What I'm most excited about is the food reintroduction plan. After the 30 days of Whole30, you control the reintroduction so that you can discover exactly what foods you are and are not sensitive too. If you're always eating triggers like gluten, dairy and sugar together, how do you know what's actually causing your issues? I'm hoping that after this 30 days, my intestines will be "healed and sealed" (a GAPS term) so that I won't have any food sensitivities, but if I do, I will know for sure what they are and will be able to avoid them! I suspect (from some cheating I have done off GAPS) that I have a gluten sensitivity, but my psoriasis hasn't completely cleared up yet, so that's a sign that I'm not finished healing yet either. I'm also eager to find out if sprouted/soaked/sourdough bread products will cause my body to respond differently than standard bread products, so I'm planning on testing them separately.

By the way, about my psoriasis, being on GAPS has definitely made some progress, but I think what has really vamped up the healing these last few weeks is the clove of garlic I've been taking every morning! I just chop it into pill-sized pieces and swallow it with my blood cleanser and anti-inflammatory herb capsules. I don't notice any garlic breath, and my psoriasis has been clearing up very quickly and obviously since I've started. I think continuing the garlic cloves with Whole30 might finally kick my psoriasis! But I probably shouldn't get my hopes too high... we'll see!


Lastly, the bonus of Whole30 is that I've FINALLY started meal planning! It's been great, I planned meals for Tues-Fri last week, bought (almost) everything I planned, and actually stretched it all to cover Saturday and Sunday meals! I definitely have some room for improvement, but I was pleased it went so well last week. I've been wanting to try planning meals, but it's never really worked out before. I think it went so well last week because I'm the only one in my family on Whole30, so I just planned what I wanted for my meals, and then planned to make enough for the rest of family if they were interested. My meal planning yesterday was a little harder (I was tired Day 7 is "I just want a nap"), but I got it all planned and the shopping done, so I'll see how it goes this week! 

Now I'm off to go try making "Perfect Seared Chicken" and "Roasted Root Vegetables in Curry Sauce" for dinner! 

Follow me on Instagram to see more Whole30 pictures and all the other random pictures I post! Link in the sidebar.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Liebster Award!


Carissa from Musings of an Introvert tagged me. Thanks Carissa!
 
Here are the rules when nominated for a Liebster:
 a) Answer the eleven questions of the tagger.
 b) Share eleven facts about yourself
 c) Nominate up to eleven other bloggers
 d) Ask those nominees 11 new questions



Carissa's questions:
1. Where do you go to decompress from the world?
The beach is the best... but sometimes traveling into a book world helps. Wow, this made me realize that I really need a better decompression location, since we usually only go to the beach once or twice a year. I would like to be able to decompress once a week at least... actually, going to church works pretty well!

2. If given $10,000, what would you do with it?
Well, I'd love to say something spiritual, like donate it to missions or something, but I would be very tempted to use it for a trip to Ireland for my family... I've always wanted to go, and the idea of going without them just doesn't sound as appealing, but my goodness, is it expensive! I know, I've checked.

3. What is one major renovation you would love to make on your house?
I'm very excited about a sort of major renovation we just did, actually! It wasn't extremely costly, but it made a big difference to me. We replaced the windows in our guest room with doors that open onto the front porch, and turned the guest room into a piano studio! Now my students can come straight in, and we have a nice, quiet, private corner of the house for me to teach in, instead of having lessons in the middle of the open floor plan living room/sunroom/kitchen/dining area. It's fabulous! But if I could do another, I'd like to add a dormer window to my sister's and my bedroom... it's got one small window, that doesn't let in much light, and we've wanted to add dormers every since we moved in, but it's too expensive... even more than the $10,000 I was offered in the last question!

4. What is one movie that you love and didn't expect to love?
Guardians of The Galaxy! My sister and brothers were all super excited about it, I personally thought the trailer looked pretty blah, and even though I liked Chris Pratt and agreed to see the movie because he was in it, I was not expecting to love him and the movie so much! The characters and the great camaraderie they finally have at the end was great. And the music fit surprisingly well, I particularly loved the opening credits sequence. But the whole movie was a great surprise!

 


5. What is the oldest knick-knack you own and what is its sentimental value?
This little blue glass bird is probably the oldest. I remember seeing it an Nana's beach cottage one day, when we were visiting. I was absolutely mesmerized by it's beautiful, rich blue, and how it caught rays of light. I also liked how it felt in my small hands, so heavy and smooth, and exactly the right size to wrap my hand around. I was old enough to know better, but I begged Nana for it anyway, and amidst my parents' embarrassed attempts to silence me, she agreed. I felt a little guilty about it for a few years, but now that spoiled little girl is just a distant memory, and while I laugh at her, I'm also quite grateful to have this knick-knack that reminds me of Nana (now in heaven) and her quaint old beach cottage at Atlantic Beach.

6. Do you own any books you keep out of obligation, but actually hate?
Well, unfortunately, I've come to have a distaste for my Elsie Dinsmore collection. My mom bought them all for me when I was young. I was a voracious reader, and greatly enjoyed reading all 28 of them as speedily as I could. Elsie's extreme goodness always shamed me, since I was a very "naughty" and "willful" young girl (like LuLu, for anyone who's read the books!) but I was also inspired to behave better, and to read my Bible more diligently by Elsie. Then, not too many years ago, I tried to read them again, and was disturbed to discover that Elsie had many flaws, including some that the author didn't seem to intend as flaws (I can only vaguely remember examples, so I won't go into detail) and that I was very saddened to discover. I have an Elsie doll as well, and it's such a fond memory from my childhood, I could never get rid of them. But I don't think I'll ever be able to love them like I did before.

7. How many countries have you visited outside of the one you live in now?
Um, none. Sadly... Did I mention that I would desperately love to go to Ireland? Or anywhere in Europe. Or New Zealand. Or somewhere tropical. But no, I've barely been to 11 states.

8. Have you ever read only part of a book, but claimed you've read the whole thing?
Well, I read this copy of The Count of Monte Cristo that I believed was complete, but I finally discovered was abridged, only after I was almost done! But it was so long, even though it was abridged, that I still claim having read it, and I don't really want to read it again just to read the unabridged version.

9. Dry climate or humidity?
Ugh, right now, dry! But when winter comes and my lips are chapped, I'll wish for humidity. How about a nice, perfect medium?

10. Sherlock Holmes or John Watson and why?
Oh no, I can't pick! I love them both too dearly, for their own reasons. John because his reactions to Sherlock are similar to what I think mine would be, so I relate to him more, and he's what keeps Sherlock from seeming too crazy. Sherlock because I am thrilled by his brilliance, amazed by his casual arrogance, and touched by the caring heart that is hidden very carefully under a thick shell of sharp wit and all the mean things he says sometimes.

11. Why did you decide to start blogging?
Well, when I started my original blog (The Random Digressors, shared with my sister Sarah) it was just because all my real-life friends were blogging, and I didn't want to miss out on the fun! This was before Facebook took over the internet world, and when that happened all our blogs kind of faded... but I really enjoyed writing, so I created this blog. It started out as unfortunate evidence of my pride (look for the label "The dream" over on the right if you want to catch up on my blog's name and web address conflict) and God has used it to grow me in so many ways, including teaching me a lot through the more serious posts that I felt compelled to write. It's amazing how much I discover I didn't really understand until I try to write about something! But after I write it all, I understand my own thoughts and what I believe so much more clearly.


Now my 11 facts:
1. I am abnormally delighted by folding fitted sheets.
2. I am bit on the crazy side when it comes to healthy lifestyle.
3. My non-existent college degree only bothers me when it bothers other people.
4. Contra dancing is my favorite social outing.
5. Although I've loved to play classical piano music for many years, I've only recently acquired the taste to listen to it on the radio.
6. I crave the beach (we're going soon! Hooray!) and early morning sunrises.
7. My heritage is only a small part Irish, but I am extremely pleased that it manifests itself through my red hair and green eyes.
8. I drive a Volvo, and I am much too attached to it. Good thing I didn't name it...
9. I'm enjoying learning to tune pianos more than I thought I would! Which is good, because it's also taking much longer than I anticipated.
10. I am addicted to Jane Austen and just finished rereading Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility for the __th time... I've lost count. But it's somewhere between ten and twenty (I can't seem to read one without soon after reading the other... hmm...)
11. I am a redeemed child of the one true King, washed pure in the blood of my Savior and filled with the Holy Spirit, and that's the greatest fact about me there is!

Now this is where I break the rules. (Sorry...) I'm not very good at coming up with questions, and I don't have 11 people to tag anyway, so if you haven't received this award yet, and you read all the way here, congratulations! You're tagged, and you may answer Carissa's great questions!

 

Friday, June 26, 2015

Homosexuality

A dear friend mentioned once that she would like me to write a post on this topic (we have had many long discussions about this, and we disagree quite a bit, so a whole post will hopefully make my stance more clear), but I've taken a long time to get into it. With the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage, I'm finally motivated to finish this (extremely long) post. (I promise, I did edit it.)

 First of all, let's address the "why are you picking on homosexuals/LGBTQ?" question. I know this is a bit "same old, same old," but I think this has to be addressed as kind of a disclaimer. I would hope I speak for the majority of true Christians when I say, we're really not. Homosexuality (and other sexual perversions) is so big because we're being forced to take a stand, or join their side. "Tolerance" is no longer enough, they are now trying to force Christians to celebrate and participate. So, we are not trying to "pick on" homosexuality, it's just being instigated by the LGBTQ community.

Now, let's get on to an argument. Possibly the most confusing argument I've struggled with is the claim that Christians aren't supposed to "judge" others. (I do believe we are called judge other Christians in the Church, but that's a different topic.) To understand the confusion, let's look at all the definitions of the word from Merriam-Webster:

judge

transitive verb
1
:  to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises
2
:  to sit in judgment on :  try
3
:  to determine or pronounce after inquiry and deliberation
4
:  govern, rule —used of a Hebrew tribal leader
5
:  to form an estimate or evaluation of; especially :  to form a negative opinion about "shouldn't judge him because of his accent"
6
:  to hold as an opinion :  guess, think "I judge she knew what she was doing"
intransitive verb
1
:  to form an opinion
2
:  to decide as a judge 

The first and sixth transitive and first intransitive verbs obviously, everyone does, you have to eventually come up with and hold an opinion. But if your opinion is not the politically correct one, you will be accused of "judging." This form of judgment is necessary intellectually however, we can't simply be mindless and have no thought on the subject, no matter how nice it would be if there were no disagreement. 

The fifth transitive verb here I think we should all be able to agree Christians should avoid. We should not have a negative opinion of anyone because of their sin, we should remember that we have all sinned, and God loves us all equally; He wants to save every other sinner in the world as much as He wanted to save me. Unfortunately, if you believe that homosexuality is wrong, many people will insist that this kind of judgment necessarily follows, but it doesn't.


The second and third transitive and second intransitive verbs are the meaning I believe occurs in Matthew 7, the sense of judging someone's guilt, and measuring their punishment, which I do not believe we should do either. But progressives want us to say that homosexuality is good, which I can't do without violating my first kind of judgment.

I struggled to understand the distinction for a while, and finally, God gave me this insight. Once He did I was amazed that it had never struck me before: if I tell a homosexual that they're fine the way they are, that is judging. 

 It is a pronouncement of pardon from me that I have no authority to give - saying that they deserve no punishment. I'm not pronouncing anyone guilty of homosexuality either. I'm not asking for evidence, what they have and have not done, I'm not trying to peer into their hearts, minds and lives and decide if they've committed that sin or not. That's God's job. I'm not judging any person innocent or guilty, all I'm doing is reminding everyone what the Bible says: all have sinned (Rom. 3:23), the wages of sin is death (Rom. 6:23) and I believe the Bible is clear that homosexuality is a sin: 

 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. - Romans 1:26-27

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. - 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, 10 the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine, 11 in accordance with the gospel of the glory of the blessed God with which I have been entrusted. - 1 Timothy 1:8-11

Now, the guilt comes from claiming the action, so I think that's what makes it so confusing. If I'm going around openly telling people I'm a thief, and someone reminds me that stealing is against the law, it may feel like they're "judging" me, but all they are doing is stating a fact - stealing is wrong. Stating that is not a wrong judgment, simply the truth. I proclaimed myself guilty of stealing by labeling myself a thief.

I hope that all makes sense. Stating that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin is not the wrong kind of judgment; it's my belief, formed by the discerning sort of judgment. As Christians, we can't distort the word of God and excuse or accept homosexuality as not sinful, because it's not the truth. It would certainly be much easier to embrace homosexuality as good than to stand against the flood of this perversion in our society. But we are called to stand on God's word, and I believe it is clear.


Now, the next argument is that calling homosexuality a sin is not loving. This is complicated because non-Christians seem to have a different definition than the Biblical definition, but it's easy to clear up. Their definition appears to go something like this:

Loving
: anything that makes me feel good, anything that induces happiness, exclusively limited to actions/words that I like, or want to hear.

Whereas the Christian definition of loving behavior is different.

Loving 
: anything that seeks the ultimate good of the recipient. 

We are to speak the truth in love. In the name of "love," homosexuals have convinced some Christians not to speak the truth, and even to compromise on what "truth" is! As Christians, I believe it's vital that we stand firm on the truth of the Bible. It's loving to be clear about sin because it's ultimately for the eternal good of every sinner if they are convicted of their sin, and turn to Jesus in repentance for salvation. I would rather make you feel sad, and say something you might not want to hear right now than stay silent and risk letting you die in your sin without knowing the truth. That may not seem loving to progressives by their definition, but it is truly loving by the Bible's definition.

Let's not get stuck on the merry-go-round anymore. We can go in circles arguing about homosexuality, what's loving, what's judging, but none of that is the really important part. It doesn't matter what your sins are, it only matters that, wherever you are searching for completion, whatever you do to try and satisfy that deep longing of your heart - nothing will fill it but the love of Jesus. He loves you so much that He paid your debt, and made pardon freely available for you. You can do nothing to earn it, you simply must confess and believe. (Romans 10:9-10). 

Stealing, homosexuality, lying, murder, adultery, child molestation, covetousness, alcoholism, hypocrisy, whatever your sins, no matter how dark, it doesn't matter how strong the chains are holding you, Jesus died to break them, and you can be free! I have been forgiven, redeemed, and all the gross sin that polluted my heart has been washed away by the blood of Jesus. I know what this glorious, exhilarating freedom feels like, and I know the wonderful, vast, indescribable love of my risen Savior, and I want everyone in the world to experience this matchless grace.

22 the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. - Romans 3:22-25

In the end, if I managed to convince anyone that homosexuality was wrong, but didn't show them Jesus, they would just find something else to try and fill the void. Brothers and sisters, we should not be distracted by any topic. The Bruce Jenner/Caitlyn transgender situation was popular recently too, but that should be just another introduction to sharing the gospel, not an argument we need to win. Bruce wants a "new self" and he hopes that living as a woman will give him the chance to live a new life. It won't work; it's still the same heart, and no one can escape the chains of their past sins on their own. The only way we become a new person is by taking Jesus.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." - 2 Corinthians 5:17

" I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." - Galatians 2:20

Speak the word of life, and don't let it be hampered and buried by useless arguments. There is power in His name. There is power in the gospel. Whatever the argument, our focal point and conclusion should always be Jesus Christ.

"Yes, _______ is a sin, BUT! Jesus saves!"