Saturday, January 4, 2014

My Life in 2013

I love the opportunity to look back on the year and see how things have changed. And since my birthday is in June, I get a good opportunity for a "half-way" point check-up. I can't believe it's another half-way already! This year has flown by, and it's been one of those years where I feel like my life didn't change much, which can be a little discouraging.

Sure, I can sense gradual changes in myself. I think I'm more patient (even if it's such a tiny improvement that it's not noticeable to others... I am not very patient). I used to channel all negative emotions into anger because I didn't like to cry as a child. I'm finally learning to reroute negative emotions into the less damaging release of tears. I've become more peaceful, not as easily stressed, and I'm becoming more relaxed. 

I've learned a lot more about myself with my discoveries about the MBTI personality typing. I used to envy my friends who could just rattle off their types, because every time I took this test, I got a different answer. I have finally determined that I am an introvert (I) (but chocolate can make me act very much like an extrovert) and I am an intuitive (N). I can't figure out yet if I'm a thinker or a feeler, but the last letter, I am definitely judging (J). I think I use thinking and feeling almost equally, depending on the situation. I take an extremely long amount of time to process things, so maybe some posts will come about once I get it all figured in my head.

As a piano teacher, I feel much more comfortable in my role. For the first few years (when I was still in high school) I felt like I was cheating my students somehow. I've definitely gained a lot of experience, and I have been comfortable in my role for the past couple of years, but this past year was when I switched from saying "I teach piano lessons" to "I am a piano teacher." I am a degree-less piano teacher, and finally, I am not ashamed! I have as many wonderful students as I could wish for, and I enjoy teaching every one of them. 

What can often be saddening at these time markers for me is the fact that I am still single. As I've mentioned before, the younger me would have been horrified to know that I would still be single at 22 (and a half!) years, but I am becoming more content with that also. I know God has a plan for my life, and if His plan matched up with mine, I wouldn't have to TRUST HIM, now would I? Do I trust that He knows best if it means that I will be single the rest of my life? I have no business whining and wishing for a husband! I need to focus on trusting my Lord, my Savior and my King to have the best plan for my life. As His servant, my only purpose is to bring Him glory with every fragile breath.

I heard this song on the radio today, and I think it may be my theme for 2014:


Particularly the third verse: 
Make me lonely
So I can be Yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, Lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know You will hold me
Make me lonely
  
[Chorus:]
‘Til You are my one desire
‘Til You are my one true love
‘Til You are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

That's what I want this year and every year, Lord. Keep making me more like Jesus.
 

2 comments:

  1. I love these tests; I had problems determining some letters as well. All personality tests are limited; it just shows that man cannot well simplify God's creation.

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    Replies
    1. Very true! They're fun, and can be helpful, but God made each of us totally unique. There isn't a cookie cutter shape we can point to and say "that's me!" Thank goodness! ;)

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